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This will come as no surprise since hey, it's a video game movie, but Silent Hill: Revelation is a bad movie. And it's not even gleefully bad like The Man With the Iron Fists. It's just really... plodding and inadequate and hey look I guess Sean Bean got a paycheck, good for him.

(Spoilers of course, but trust me, you don't care.)

The setting was nice, the monsters mostly well done (though a bit too obviously CGI for my taste, though the mannequin monster feeling up the boob of the newly made plastic lady was nicely creepy), and the musical score was excellent. But that's all I can really say that's positive, and that does not a decent movie make. The makeup on several of the characters, by the way, is utterly awful. And the story itself is completely incoherent, with all of the explanatory scenes a word salad of cultist terms that don't actually make sense even if you have played the games.

Silent Hill: Revelation is actually an uncomfortable mix of Silent Hill 3 and Silent Hill: Homecoming. It's got a lot of plot elements from SH3, but more of the monsters and setting are straight out of Homecoming, which makes it weird if you're a dedicated fan of the games. There was also a lot of twisting of the SH3 plot, combining elements that it really made no sense to combine, and then the wheels just really come off at the end when suddenly Heather and Alessa basically hug it out as their epic finally battle and Claudia is actually the Missionary.

Also, Victor is inexplicably Heather's teenaged love interest, and Kit Harrington can't figure out what the hell his accent is, which doesn't help matters.

There are a lot of things in this movie that left me wondering why these choices were made. Look, if you want to make Silent Hill 3 into a movie, it had a perfectly serviceable plot that could have worked, I think. If you want to make your own original movie set in Silent Hill because it's an interesting setting with a lot of potential stories, I think that would actually be amazing and way more interesting than just remaking a video game. But trying to combine the two by not quite telling the story of Silent Hill 3 is really not the way to go. It confuses the fans of the series (or out and out pisses them off) and just makes for a story that has no internal logic.

For example, Claudia. She was a scary character on her own. She didn't need to be transformed into the Missionary (one of the boss monsters). It's not a nod to the game that Silent Hill fans would really want, since Claudia was Claudia and the Missionary was the Missionary and they were both just fine on their own. It also means that Heather loses much of her badassery because instead of defeating Claudia and getting closure from that woman's manipulations, she goes on to not personally defeat the Missionary (more on this later).

To be honest, what I disliked most about the movie was what they did with Pyramid Head. I was right to be worried. Suddenly he's been transformed from Sir Not Appearing In This Game (though arguably the monster Valtiel in SH3 has similarities) to Heather's protector. No, really. He shows up twice to save her, once so he can chop off the arms of all the people in the asylum because they're trying to pull Heather's hair and scaring her, and once so he can fight the Missionary for her. The movie ends not with Heather being a badass and saving herself, but with what is basically a clash of the Titans where the audience is put in the strange position of cheering for Pyramid Head.

I'm guessing perhaps this has something to do with Pyramid Head's popularity with the fans, but turning him into something quasi-good is really not the way to reward that.

I will note that I found the ending of the movie the most entertaining part, by the way. After Heather and Victor (sigh) escape Silent Hill (Sean Bean inexplicably decides to stay behind, I guess he just wanted the hell out of this franchise) they get picked up by a trucker... named Travis. And then pass by a prison bus being escorted by the police in the opposite direction. So that was amusing.

If you're a fan of Silent Hill, don't waste your money seeing this in the theater. And if you're not a fan, really don't waste your money.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 7th, 2012 10:09 pm (UTC)
I just got back from seeing this
and as a die hard silent hill fan I got the giggles somewhere around the mall, spent most of the asylum with chronic brain freeze (slushies in november BAD) and rolling my eyes at the sanctuary

The score was excellent but of course it was, it was lifted directly from SH, the piano motif that they repeated is "Laura's Theme" from sh2, I have the scores because they're excellent and so i recognised it clear off
and don't get me started on pyramid head
no don't really

what bothers me is that there is no reason for these movies to suck the way that they do
although for VG movies they're actually quite good because VG movies are ALWAYS terrible
it's like they took all the wonderfully horrid things about SH, all the subtext and nastiness and tamed it and replaced it with bad cg
and the missionary - she looked like one of the Tortured Souls action figures, in fact mr barker should sue
even some of the side stories in SH are so excellent and everything is explained and it makes it scarier that Alessa collected butterflies but you got the impression that a lot of the scenes (the order bringing Kit into the asylum) was just fanservice of adding the nurses
actually that's what crippled this film, fanservice
and the mannequin spider creature was kinda crap
and the battle with Dark Heather on the carousel is really difficult and important before she faces Claudia (who was ruined because she's epic in the game) and it was replaced by the ending
in fact, I think if they just put together the game's cutscenes they would have had a better movie

it was just so mediocre
it wasn't bad enough to be enjoyable, or good enough to be okay, it was just meh with too much fanservice for no apparent reason

i knew i had forgotten something
the best line in sh3 is vincent laughing and going "you see them as monsters?" as if all of what heather sees is in her head and she's gunning down people and there is moment of absolute horror and .... instead completely extraneous love affair
this is why i'm glad the project zero movie fell through

Edited at 2012-11-08 02:33 am (UTC)
Nov. 8th, 2012 09:03 am (UTC)
So, um ... how was the science?
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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