Guess I missed some WSFS excitement while I was at Weddingpalooza over the weekend. (Weddingpalooza, ie two weddings in one weekend) went swimmingly, by the way. I looked dapper as fuck and danced (including the Time Warp) until I could dance no more because my back wasn’t being an asshole this weekend. Shocking, considering I spent three nights on a fold-out couch bed belonging to my best friend, which she fondly calls “the iron maiden.”
Geek weddings are the best, by the way. Just in case you forgot.
Anyway, these amendments. I was already planning to get my ass to all the WSFS meetings at Worldcon this year–and if there is wifi to be had, I will liveblog them. Otherwise, expect a lot of tweeting. Some of the proposed amendments are really interesting, but let me get this one out of the way:
Best saga? Are you fucking serious? And this is worth killing the novelette category over? WHAT?
Honestly, I wouldn’t even care if the proposal was to just add this “best saga” category. Hell, I’d probably even vote for it then, as long as the eligibility process made sense. (Which I’m not convinced it does as worded, by the way.) I’d think hey, that’s fun, and probably then never cast an actual vote in the category because I don’t have time to read an entire goddamn series, let alone multiple ones, in the time between the nominees being revealed and voting closing. And that’s fine. If you have more time than me to read, more power to you. Hell, I’d also support a Best YA Hugo and Best Interactive Story (ie video game) as well because I think there’s some great art going on that’s not getting recognized. (And while I’m writing a wish list, I’d also like a puppy and for someone to fix the Best Fancast so it’s just Best Podcast.)
But why the fuck is this proposed at the expense of the novelette? Was someone savaged by a novelette as a child or something? Supposedly this is to reflect changes in publishing, but I honestly don’t buy that premise at all. There are a lot of series today, sure. But there are also a lot of novellas and novelettes being published stand alone by people trying to hold on to the cutting edge of electronic publishing. The industry is still shifting, and we know not where it’ll end up.
I also think it’s pretty goddamn unfair to lump novelettes in with novellas, just because there’s a certain amount of detail and complexity of plot one can develop per wordcount, and a story that’s 10k words is going to set about things very differently than a story that’s 30k words. I’ve written (and had published) short stories, novelettes, and novellas. Yes, there’s a sort of spectrum at the borders between the categories (welcome to the hell I experience as a geologist every day, kids), but a 5k story is very different than a 12 k story is very different from a 25k story in structure and technique and let’s not pretend otherwise.
And seriously, if the idea of adding yet another Hugo is impossible and some category has to fall under the ax, why novelette? Why not best long form editor? Most regular readers probably have no idea who edited their books and no good way of finding out.
Finally, it’s a bit bullshit that if series are special and need their own hugo, the individual novels within can still be nominated for best novel. As far as I can recall, there is no other category like that. Spread the love if you’re going to spread the love. Yes, nominating a novel from the middle of a series is a tough row to hoe because a lot of people (like me) will give it a go and then drop it if reading the rest of the series is necessary to understand its supposed good qualities due to the required time commitment; that said, is giving series their own category really going to help that issue out? Or are you just going to basically pit dedicated fans of one series against dedicated fans of another?
Admittedly, I’d pay to watch a brawl between Jim Butcher fans and GRRM fans. Bonus for costumes worn.
(Anyway, yes. I will be voting against this amendment.)
Other proposed amendments:
4 and 6: I really like this one, actually. Allowing fewer nominations than there will be ultimate nominees makes total control of a ballot via logrolling much more difficult, and then expanding out to 6 nominees instead of 5 will hopefully provide for a wider array of nominees! Yes please.
The Five Percent Solution: Getting rid of the fucking 5% rule THANK YOU. This rule has acted to the detriment of the short story category since its addition, and it needs to go. I think we’re getting a mini Renaissance of short stories (and novelettes, THANKS) thanks to a wide array of well-edited paying markets, so vote spread is going to happen. More riches for us to read!
E Pluribus Hugo: This amendment is too complex for me to understand on a Monday morning after only one cup of tea. This does not bode well, but I will attempt to read it over again when I’m not suffering serious post-wedding fatigue.
It’s going to be an interesting WSFS meeting. I better bring an umbrella to shield myself from the intensity of the rules lawyering.
A lot of people have been asking me about this one. Come on, it can’t be that bad, can it?
AHAHAHAHAHAHA ha ha ha haaaaa
Well. Uh. I like the Rock? And the geologist isn’t wearing a white labcoat? And watching the Rayleigh wave go through LA is… kind of cool, even if it’s moving way too slowly?
Oh, who am I kidding.
HOW THE FUCK IS THERE A TSUNAMI EVEN AGH Deep breaths. This one must be aiming for a spot on the DVD shelf o’ bad geology, right between Volcano and The Core. Fuck you, my liver can’t take this right now.
So here’s the deal. Donate money to charity, and I will watch this movie and write a review of some sort for it. Raise more, and you get my notes. Don’t raise enough money, and I won’t go, but charities still get money, so yay! The price I’m setting on this turd is
$400 $300. (You get the Rock’s biceps discount.) The movie comes out on May 29, but I have company from out of town that week so will be unlikely to see it until June 1 at the earliest. So that gives you nearly two weeks to come up with the money if this is going to be a thing.
Accepted charities are:
- National Center for Science Education (special guest star!)
- Max Fund
- Sea Shepherd
- Doctors Without Borders
As usual, honor system. Donate, then contact me via social networking site, email, or messenger pigeon to tell me how much you donated. If you don’t get some kind of acknowledgment from me, I didn’t get the message. (If you prefer your donation to remain anonymous, please tell me that too.)
THANK DAMN YOU
- Zig Zag Claybourne ($20)
- Emily ($10)
- Madred ($100)
- Pat ($25)
ETA: Sorry to say, but the time for this has passed and the goal wasn’t met. So I don’t have to see the movie (Yay!) and charity got $155 (YAY) so I think we all still win. :)
[ETA 5/3/15: It seems I was unclear that by a recommended reading list, I mean a large list with things added throughout the year that I can then winnow down myself. Not a short slate of nominees sized specifically to fill or partially fill categories. I have updated the post to reflect my position more accurately.]
I’ve been meaning to write this post for nearly a week, but work has been absolutely batshit and promises to continue to be so for another two weeks. So yay for the lunch break blog post, right? This is to say, if this is not particularly coherent or well-organized, please forgive me.
I was at Penguicon over the weekend, which was a fabulous convention, by the way, marred only by the fact that the assholes in the room next to mine would not shut the fuck up at four in the morning. But everything to do with the actual convention was lovely and full of chocolate glee, and I’m extra happy to have gotten to be on panels and then do karaoke with Steven Saus, Sarah Hans, and Michael Cieslak, to name just three of the many lovely people I met. (I met more lovely people, but their business cards are currently out of my reach and I’m complete shit with names. Sorry, everyone.)
By the way, karaoke? I still fucking kill it when I do Tribute. My demon voice cannot be stopped.
Anyway, on Sunday at Penguicon, I ended up setting off a discussion about Hugo nominations mostly because I was grumpy and wanted to go over what actually happened when the SFWA bulletin blew up (tl;dr version: “Haw haw ladies!” “Could you please not?” “Fuck you liberal fascists!” “No, sirs, fuck YOU.”) as opposed to what’s being incorrectly summarized everywhere, mostly by people fighting about the bullshit puppy slates. But anyway, after I got things going, two gentlemen started arguing about the Hugo nomination process, and I feel like a total asshole because I didn’t catch either of their names, but they both had extremely valid points.
Most Excellent Dude Number One has several working ideas on ways the WSFS constitution could be amended to de-fang slates so this bullshittery cannot happen again. (As I pointed out, well, in a couple years at best, since you can’t amend the WSFS constitution overnight.) Most Excellent Dude Number Two didn’t think that was any kind of solution, and that the only real way to fix things was some serious get out the vote effort.
Honestly, I’m not sure if either way works. I’d have to see some convincing math on any WSFS amendments and have a good long think about if it’s going to actually fix a problem or just make things worse. (Though I think there could be something to limiting nominations to three per category, say. That would shake things up a bit at least.) And it’s also a fact that the nominating and voting statistics for the Hugos are nothing short of embarrassing.
LonCon3, which I believe is now officially the biggest Worldcon ever, had 8784 attending and supporting memberships, which would be the people who could nominate and vote–and this doesn’t even count the attending members of the previous Worldcon, who could also vote! The most nominating ballots were cast for novel, with a total of 1595, just 18% of eligible members. The rest of the categories had far fewer nominating ballots, coming in at 3.6% to 11.3% of the membership. Actual votes cast tended to be about three times higher than nominating ballots. Still embarrassing, but slightly less so.
So yes, there’s definitely a get out the vote problem, though I’m left wondering just what WSFS can be expected to do about that, other than finding ways to make voting and nominating more accessible. I’d be in favor, for example, of severely lowering the price of supporting memberships, in order to open up the process particularly to people in non-US countries who are already getting screwed by the exchange rate. Education efforts? Maybe.
But as sad as the actual voting numbers are, the real problem is the nominating numbers. And I don’t honestly think that’s something that can be fixed easily by amending the bylaws.
Forgive me if I assume my personal experience can stand at something close to average, but I think the nomination issue isn’t really one of accessibility. There have been many years past when I haven’t nominated for the Hugos at all outside of dramatic presentation, because I quite literally had not read anything that had come out that year. There is a lot of good literature out in the field, and a lot of bad. I have only a very limited amount of time to read. The only reason I’ve been reading much newer stuff lately is because I’ve been trying to help with the occasional podcast for Skiffy and Fanty, or because I have writer friends who have new things coming out, so I make it my business to actually read them. (And I don’t do that nearly as often as I should, sorry guys. I’m such a shit.) But there’s also a very real reason why, on the podcast, you hear me mostly on movie episodes, and why here I mostly talk about movies. Movies are a much smaller time commitment, and I know I can sit down and get through one in normally less than two hours and still be able to have thoughtful opinions.
I’m not going to nominate things I haven’t read. I’d like to think most people who are interested in the Hugos are honest enough to not nominate or vote for things they haven’t read. So I’m thinking what we have is a big blob of voters like me, who have no idea what the fuck we’d even nominate because we haven’t really read that much, and in fact we’re waiting for the list of nominees to come out so we know what we should be reading.
Is that something WSFS can really fix? I guess you could argue for some kind of juried award, but then you’re only as good as your jury.
This is the point where I obviously speak only for myself, but what I need is help, to be honest. I don’t need someone breathing down my neck and telling me I need to nominate when I have no idea what the hell I’d even nominate. Some of it’s a self-actualization issue, where I need to just get off my ass and find the time to read more, and try to read things the actual year they come out. But it’s pretty overwhelming, guys. We are blessed to live in an age where your genre choices are not limited to what you can find on the spinny racks at the grocery store, or on that one shelf in your local library where the dude with the funny-smelling coat always hangs out. Which is awesome! But it also means that there’s so much coming out every day, at some point book mountain gets so high that you’re like fuck this, I don’t even know where to start so instead I’m going to make myself a cup of tea and play World of Warcraft while Captain America: The Winter Soldier plays on the TV in the background.
I’m sure this does not reflect on me well as a human being. I also know I used to read a hell of a lot more back before I didn’t have a full time job and a part-time writing gig and a daily commute during which reading tends to give me severe motion sickness. But here it is, the call for help. I seriously need some helpful soul, or maybe some kind of crowd-sourced thing that can tell me what I should be reading as things come out so I’m not floundering under drifts of pages on book mountain when the Hugo nomination period opens. Preferably some recommendation engine where my fellow writers, bless you guys I love you all but damn I know how we are, are not allowed to nominate or push their own books. I don’t want reviews, I don’t even want opinions, I just want a simple but large list of titles and authors and maybe a helpful link where someone can say hey, I think this book should totally get a Hugo and/or other award or is just awesome and you should read it anyway, and then other people who agree can maybe give it a plus one, and that’s it. Let me form my own opinions.
Does something like this already exist and I’ve just never seen it because I’m a failure at google? Is this something a complete computer incompetent like me could set up on her own site pretty easily? I’d do it in a heartbeat if I knew how.
So this year’s Hugos is basically the same story as last year, but more so. Apparently we have not only the Sad Puppies, we have Rapid Puppies courtesy of that corpulent pustule on the anus of humanity, Vox Day. And I’ve heard mentions of Gamergate? Haven’t been able to easily locate the truth, don’t actually care that much, but it’d certainly be a match made in pathetic teenaged misogynist fantasy wankland.
My response is mostly the same as last year, to be honest. It’s going to be a personal choice how people react to what they are and aren’t willing to read. I’m not going to tell people how to conduct themselves. Everyone has a personal line that they’re going to draw, and it’s not mine to judge or argue.
I am personally, deeply uncomfortable with the idea of sight unseen torpedoing every work in a category because it’s got puppy shit on it, but on the other hand, I also have no leg to stand on to lecture other people on what should or shouldn’t let them sleep at night. Part of this is because I know Lou Antonelli and know him to be a good guy, and I’m definitely going to be reading and considering his stuff. Also, I don’t think blanket voting No Award is going to necessarily discourage this behavior in the future; we’re dealing with nihilistic wankbabies here that are going to play Heads We Win, Tails You Lose. The only ultimate win is figuring out a decent fix for the nomination process for the future, which is a whole other kettle of fish and involves going to WSFS meetings and dealing with the arcane rules lawyering that goes on there.
Yes, by the way, I will be going to the WSFS meetings at Worldcon this year, and as long as there is wifi, I will be liveblogging them. If no wifi, expect tweets.
Anyway, I had my attention drawn to this comment by the Pustule in another post:
If No Award takes a fiction category, you will likely never see another award given in that category again. The sword cuts both ways, Lois. We are prepared for all eventualities.
Well, that’s not threatening at all. It really sounds like “vote for the shit I have presented you, or the Hugos get it.” And sorry. The United States of Rachael does not negotiate with terrorists. Because this is the thing. Other than the Pustule’s story last year (which I actually did read, in its entirety, out loud, whilst drunk, and it was hilaribad) I actually tried to give all the nominees a fair shake. I made an attempt to read each and every one of the offerings. And most of them? I gave up after 10 pages, normally because I was bored, or occasionally offended, but ultimately entirely unconvinced by the work and its worthiness of even being considered for an award.
I’m not going to change that policy this year. If I can’t even fucking get through a story, it has no business being on an award ballot. If I finish reading it, and still have no idea why the hell it should even be considered award-worthy, I’m not going to vote to give it an award. It goes under No Award. Period. No matter who nominated it. You can’t make me.
Really, I’m a little stunned that the Pustule’s somehow managed to hit what I thought was the bedrock of deeply pathetic, then whip out a rotary drill and keep digging down. Look, dude. Forcing us to read your shit isn’t going to make us like it. Threatening to blow up our awards because we don’t like your shit is not going to make us like it. You cannot threaten people into loving or respecting you or your work. I’m sure if you literally held a gun to someone’s head, you could make them say just about anything, but none of it would be true. A compliment forcibly paid under duress does not change the basic facts of the matter.
If the only way you can gain acclaim or success is by cheating or threatening your way to it? You’ve already lost and will remain forever a giant, wanky loser.
Some other good posts about the general Hugos bullshittery:
- Me and the Hugos (GRRM)
- More Thoughts on the 2015 Hugo Awards (Natalie Luhrs)
- “No Award” and “Blank Spacing” the #HugoAwards — The Only Response I Can Make to What is to Come (Shaun Duke)
- The Hugo Awards: Gamergate Edition, 2015 (Chuck Wendig)
- 10 Hugo Thoughts (Jim C Hines)
So the first thing you should know is that I’ve never actually seen a Fast and Furious film until this Saturday, when my friend Robin invited me out to see it because she knew (due to another friend of ours) that I have this positively unhealthy thing about Jason Statham, or rather, the way Jason Statham wears ties.
No, let me back this up. The actual first thing you should know is that the Rock punches a predator drone in the face with an ambulance and then walks down the street whilst wielding a chain gun. THEN you should understand my complete innocence of these movies up until two days ago. And let me tell you, now I am probably going to go back and watch the rest of them because I can’t help myself, even if they cannot possibly be as good as this masterpiece of sheer, explodey glee.
I had no idea who the characters were, or their back stories, or anything. It did not matter one bit. Part of that is because the script actually did an incredibly good job of introducing us to the characters and their relationships with a lot of economy. Part of it is that it had a good heist movie set up, so you could just see the character archetypes and that would tell you enough to understand their interactions. And part of it is you really don’t need to know anything about a character when said character is played by the Rock or Vin Diesel or Michelle Rodriguez or Jason Statham. You just know that some fucking magic is about to happen. (Though if you really cannot mentally handle the thought of going into the seventh movie of a series blind, here’s a hilarious recap, thanks to Sunil for the link.)
Cars get jumped out of airplanes. Cars get jumped between buildings. The Rock flexes off a fucking fiberglass cast and then exchanges the world’s most adorable fistbump with a little girl. Michelle Rodriguez has a knock-down drag-out off the hook amazeballs brawl in a ballgown with Ronda Rousey, who is also wearing a ballgown and has shoulders that speak to my yeah I look like a fucking linebacker too soul. (And it is a real fight, there is no hair pulling cat fight bullshit, and no panty shots.) Jason Statham is Jason Statham in the most Jason Statham way imaginable and wears a tie like a motherfucker. The best hacker ever is a woman of color with absolutely gorgeous hair.
Of the team of absolutely flawless badass heroes, only one of them is white. (And the villain is Statham, by the way.) Of the two women, one of them face punches her way to glory, the other hacks the planet, and neither of them get raped or threatened with sexualized violence. No one gets tortured. No one gets turned into a punchline because of their race or gender. The heroes are basically a multi-racial, close-knit, created family that stick together in a way completely devoid manufactured conflict. There is nothing dark or gritty about this movie, thank fuck. It is pure, high-octane, cracked-out joy on screen, a movie that says hey guys no really it’s okay to unironically enjoy things. The only complaint I could have is that I would have liked a lot fewer ass-tracking bikini bottom shots of women, but even that seemed perfunctory like oh yes, this is a Fast and Furious movie, we should some scantily clad female scenery, now back to Michelle Rodriguez getting ready to fuck someone up.
The plot is ridiculous, but it’s ridiculous in a way that’s easy to follow. Jason Statham wants to kill Vin Diesel because Vin Diesel did a thing in another movie and who cares, because it means that cars are getting dropped out of an airplane so that the crew can rescue the hacker with amazing hair (Ramsey) for grown up Jack Burton. And then grown up Jack Burton then helps Vin Diesel and his crew hunt down Jason Statham. That’s it. The rest is little kinks in that straight line path to justify Michelle Rodriguez kicking the shit out of a bunch of super competent female body guards.
And that’s kind of my point, here. The plot is ridiculous in the way that Hercules doing his twelve labors is ridiculous, and equally epic. Furious 7 is a myth given cinematic form. It does not give a shit about your realism or your physics, because those things are beside the point. It’s actually the least bloody action movie I’ve seen in a long time. People get shot, but for the most part all you see in the aftermath is a bit of red on someone’s shirt. The Rock gets thrown through every piece of glass in a seven block radius by Jason Statham, and he looks like he lost a fight with a sheet of paper and isn’t even dusty. It’s a wink at us all that we are really, really not meant to take this seriously. Hercules strangled the Nemean Lion to death after hitting it with a club; Vin Diesel does much the same, only instead of a club he has an enormous wrench. Dom, Brian, Tej, Letty, Roman, Ramsey, Hobbs; they’re all figures worthy of being immortalized in myth.
And the last five minutes, when the movie turns around and punches you directly in the feelings as the cast says goodbye to Paul Walker in the best way imaginable somehow only adds to it. It’s fucking beautiful, and I’m unashamed to admit that I cried. At a Fast and Furious movie.
If you don’t like this movie because you’re sick of the women as gyrating scenery thing, I can understand that. But if you don’t like this movie because it’s silly and unrealistic? You’re missing the point, and you’re wrong.
Mostly putting this down here so I have the recipe for myself. I put it in the Musa Publishing blog once, but since Musa has shut down I don’t expect that blog to hang around forever. So, from me to you, one of the few things I make that could properly be considered a specialty: vegetarian* sloppy joes!
- 1 cup brown or green lentils
- ¼ cup brown sugar
- 3 cloves garlic
- 1 small onion
- 1 red bell pepper
- 3 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
- 1 can tomato sauce
- 1 8oz can tomato paste
- ½ tsp. salt
- chili powder and/or paprika to taste
- If you like it hot, add cayenne pepper or some sriracha to taste
Rinse lentils, put in a pot and cover with about an inch or two of water. Bring to a boil, cover, and reduce heat to simmer. Cook until water is about 90% absorbed.
Chop onions and garlic in food processor. Strain out excess liquid.**
Heat a pan over medium-high heat with a spritz of oil or cooking spray. Sauté onions with garlic until translucent.
Chop red pepper in food processor; strain out excess liquid.**
Reduce heat to medium and add red pepper, tomato sauce and paste, Worcestershire sauce, and spices to sauce. Let simmer, covered, for about 5 minutes, until the sauce is heated through.
Add the sauce and veggies to the nearly-cooked lentils and simmer until the just the right amount of sloppiness has been achieved.
Plop the sloppy mess on your starch of choice and enjoy! I prefer putting them on King’s Hawaiian Rolls, myself.
* – It’s really easy to transform these from vegetarian to truly vegan. All you have to do is buy or make some vegan Worcestershire sauce, and you are good to go.
** – the straining out the extra liquid step is incredibly important. So important. If you don’t, you end up with soup that you can’t really put on a bun. I’d recommend either using cheese cloth and giving it a good squeeze, or dumping your finely chopped mush into a strainer and pressing it with a spoon to get out as much water as humanly possible.
Sunil was talking about his childhood love of the Babysitters Club books on Twitter earlier and that me thinking. I wasn’t actually a fan of BSC despite being in its perfect target demographic. I think I remember even knowing other girls my age that loved those books, but I… didn’t get in to them. Possibly because I found the concept of babysitting so incredibly uninteresting.
I was, however, super in to the Saddle Club book series. (And I’ve been surprised how many of my friends in various corners of the internet were also really in to those books.) Looking at the publishing dates on this series as opposed to BSC, I’d be willing to bet that they were a blatant ripoff of the basic concept, except instead of babysitting, the middle school girls rode horses. Which if you asked both pre-ten and current me, is about a zillion times more awesome.
So this just got me thinking about other middle grade/intermediate books that I really loved. You’ll note that there’s a distinct presence of horses in a lot of it. I was pretty horse crazy as a kid, and I couldn’t even tell you why, only that it seems like a thing that happens to a lot of girls. During my childhood I can only remember one time I saw and interacted with a horse. The horse in question belonged to my best friend on the street, and her dad let me sit on it and then walked it in circles on a lunge line. I left with the conviction that I absolutely had to get a horse.
(Spoiler: I did not get a horse.)
But I think something else a lot of the books I loved had in common–other than horses–was women. Solving problems. Being friends. Going on all kinds of adventures. Having more important things to talk about than boys. Most of the books I read at that point were written by women, too. It’s a weird thing that, as an adult, until recently the ratio of characters and authors inverted. Also, I’d love to think boys would have enjoyed those books just as much as I did. At least if they were horse crazy boys.
Anyway, other books that I remembered after I got on the nostalgia train today:
- Pretty much anything ever by Marguerite Henry, but particularly the books related to Misty of Chincoteague
- The Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia C Wrede – one thing that still sticks with me about these books is that the king of the dragons, Kazul, is female. Because king isn’t a gendered title to dragons.
- The Secret of the Unicorn Queen by Gwen Hanson – Regular teenaged girl gets whisked away to a fantasy world where an Amazonian troop of women rides around on freakin’ unicorns and are super badass. What is there to not love about this? It’s like Gwen Hanson sat down one day and thought, “What I really want is to write the perfect wish fulfillment story for Rachael Acks, because that girl is going to go absolutely mental.”
- The Black Stallion series by Walter Farley – holy crap, books with boys in them! (I thought Alec should be a girl. Sorry.)
- Anne of Green Gables and sequels by Lucy Maud Montgomery – books without prominent horses or dragons, but Ann is intelligent and witty and very likable. She should have totally had a dragon.
- The Song of the Lioness Quartet by Tamora Pierce – okay, this is definitely YA and not MG, but I have to mention these books any time I talk about something important to my childhood. I actually have copies of these still and reread them every couple of years because they’re that important to me. Fierce woman pretends to be a boy so she can become a knight, and then travels openly as a female knight, her country’s first? Yes, please, a thousand times.
Obviously, not a complete list of everything I read when I was little. These are just the ones that stuck in my head the most. What books give you some serious nostalgia?
A while ago I wrote a little story about those mysterious beings known to the unfortunates who encounter them as bakery elves. This is because I have a friend who has, unwittingly, risen to the bready height of their rank. Since then, I’ve written a couple of sketches about Jester’s adventures as a unproven bakery elf:
More may come if he keeps telling me amusing stories.